True to form, I turned in my nursing application one day before they are due. It's always scary turning it in, especially here at UWM, where it's just this dinky form you fill out and your one-page personal statement. Of which mine is chock full of cheesiness and a few exaggerations. Hopefully the like it! It's actually not a bad paper, D helped me revise it like a gabillion times last night. He's much more meticulous about stuff like that. Which is good. I just skim stuff. Too impatient. I don't even think they review the applications until like October, which totally sucks. That's a long time to wait to find out if I get in!
It has been a busy busy week. I have my first biochem exam tomorrow. I don't know whether I should stress about it or just review notes and reactions and stuff. I hate the first exam of the semester. I think I'll be okay tho. I'd hope so, since this is the 3rd time I've learned what an aldehyde is!!! It's later that I lose focus.....
I sent my mom some glass magnets that I made awhile ago. (pics soon) She should get them today or tomorrow. I'm almost positive she won't even acknowledge that she got them, let alone like them. Oh well. I've already accepted that. Hopefully she'll notice that I'm trying to reach out and bridge the Grand Canyon-sized gap that has come between us. I wonder if she even thinks about this gap. I doubt it. They have young friends, read=my age, that they always have over. These friends have kids that my mom buys stuff for all the time. You'd think they were HER grandkids. So basically, I've been replaced. With a 24 year old girl presence in your home all the time, do you even remember that you have your OWN daughter out there? Who hasn't found ANYONE to replace her mom? Yeah, if you can't tell, I'm pretty bitter about it. Especially since our 2 year anniversary is coming up. That means 2 years she hasn't wanted anything to do with me. Actually, more than that. Like 2 1/2 years. I thought we were close to getting over it last Thanksgiving but then things went back to normal after we went back home.
My dad called me today at work. I love my dad. If it weren't for him, I'd have no family. So I asked, again, about their Christmas plans. I haven't been home for Christmas in 2 years and thought it might be my turn to go home. So I asked Pops what they were doing and he made some lame joke about celebrating the birth of Jesus. No, dad, what I'm asking, is can we come? Except I didn't say that. So then he says that it's still far off and they haven't made plans, and I say well we need to buy tickets if you want us to come and blah blah blah. He says he'll ask Mom what her plans are, but I can hear in his voice it's not something he's looking forward to. It just makes me want to cry. I didn't want to ask b/c I don't want to hear that the answer is no, we're not welcome yet another year. Not that we're not welcome, but that it would just be uber uncomfortable the whole time. Sigh. This is why I never think about it. It just depresses me. Honestly, I don't think there is anything else I can do on my part. It's up to her. But knowing that, it could take DECADES before she finally decided that she'd gotten enough payback at me. It's all a stupid game with her, really.
Well, I didn't plan on spilling my guts today, but I guess there you have it! Drama with my Mamma! ha!
In happier news, I had Thai food for lunch, and I'm eating custard tonite! Hooray!
No comments:
Post a Comment