Boo on Thursdays.

I guess for every good day, there must be a bad day. Today was a really bad day.

It started off with a KILLER headache. OWW. It rained all day. Which I normally wouldn't have minded--I love rainstorms. I think the weather was reflecting how I felt today, personally.

Today was Sabahat's last day of work for HK. It was really sad for me. I consider her one of my really close friends. One of the few girls here that I can really talk to, and I know she'll listen and not give me advice if I don't want it, or give me really good advice if I do. I'm really happy for her and her new job, but I'm selfish and wanted her to stay with me. Hopefully we will not be like other friends who say they'll keep in touch but never do.

Then I realized today was August 11th. 6 years to the day that I left my home in Florida for college. 6 years. I really loved living there. Some people hated it, but High School was a really great time for me. I loved it. I would totally do it over again. Especially now, since I think I would be more popular....I was what you would call a "late bloomer". ha. Ok, let's face it, I was in marching band all 4 years. But I wasn't a "band dork". At least, I don't think I was. I still hung out with the cool kids, all my friends were smart and popular and stuff. I like to think I helped to give the band a less geeky image. Still, I loved every minute of band too. It was just an overall good period in my life. It used to be that I had lived in Florida longer than anywhere else in my whole entire life. 4 years. Crazy to think, huh? Now I have lived in Utah for 5, but still, I find myself saying I'm from Florida. My heart is still there. So many people I love and miss. Home is where the heart is, they say. Well, I don't have a home there anymore. And I have never been to my parents' new home in CT. Where do I belong? Do I call Wisconsin home? I've only lived here 51 weeks (to the day!). I am a nomad. America is my home. I really hope that I return to live in Florida someday. I know it will never be like I remember it. Places never are once you leave. But I love the Tampa Bay area soooo much!

I had a mini-meltdown at a meeting tonite. I didn't mean to, honest. But I have been holding in tears since Sunday for some reason and the floodgates just needed to open. They just opened at the wrong time. So I'm at this meeting, and I'm trying to get my point across, and either I'm misunderstanding people or they're misunderstanding me, but I get really frustrated at it. And I have to leave. And then I'm confronted about it, and I try to brush it off, but here come the tears anyway. So it was just really awkward, and everyone was looking at me, and I'm babbling on about how it's ok, really, it's not you, it's me, I just have to go, blah blah blah. But in my mind there just all this stuff happening at once. Like that gay commercial for Britney Spears perfume where everything flashes at once. That's what I felt like. Daneise, Sabahat, Florida, my family--it all came at once and I couldn't stop it. So I ran. It was like a really bad Lifetime movie. Ah well.

So at least you'll know why I'll be eating the entire Death by Chocolate cake that's baking right now. Tasty!