Homelessville

I found the Homelessville skit. Click below to view in all its glory. My favorite line? "Christmas isn't about Santa kicking a cup of soup in the croutons!!"

Homelessville SNL Skit Musical charities compete against each other.

Just finished taking my midterm. It went better than expected, considering I spent next to no time studying for it. Guess we'll just have to wait and see howo good I really did.

I've grown a third eye in the past 2 days. It's right above my left eye. It hurts, and it's red, and it's about the size of quarter, no joke. I don't know if it's a zit or not. I've never had a zit look like this before. Could be a bite of some kind. Anyway, when you see me, please try not to look so alarmed, or grossed out, or laugh. And don't try to sneak a look at it when you think I'm not looking. Remember, I have 3 eyes, nothing's gonna get past me!

Where are we going? And why are we in this handbasket???

I'm watching the most disturbing story on the news. It's about childless marriages. Couples getting married with the intention of never ever spawning. They call these idiots "THINKERs".

Two
Healthy
Incomes
No
Kids
Early
Retirement

"We don't have to worry about things like future college funds. We can save a bit more towards our retirement," says one fat balding newly married tool. Talk about selfish. Maybe if he wasn't getting his PhD in psychology he'd have more money, ever think about that bald dude? It seriously makes me wonder where people get these ideas? I mean, they wouldn't even be here if it weren't for their parents having THEM! What if everyone followed that plan? There'd be nobody left! Except for the people who are too dumb and/or horny to stop doing the deed. (Many of which I'm sure we'll see on Monday at the Jerry Springer taping!) Anyway, that really bothered me. Didn't anyone listen to Whitney? She believes children are our future! And I agree. I'm sure she would give a big "HELL to the no" on this idea.

The orange dream bread came out double deeeeelicious. Next up to try: Turtle Bread. Yes, that kind of turtle. Caramel, chocolate, pecans. Yummmmmmmm. Again, how can you go wrong with ingredients like that?

Speaking of ingredients...since I can't find video of one of the greatest SNL skits of all time, The Barry Gibb Talk Show, here is Omeletteville, starring Justin Timberlake, greatest host of all time. NBC has removed all of its content which really sucks. If you can track down Homelessville or The Barry Gibb Talk Show #1, you'd be my hero, and I just might buy you an omelet. I could watch this over and over again...and I frequently do.

Omletteville

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Midterm Friday that I have yet to study for. Must go now.

Crocker. Betty Crocker.

I was feeling domestical tonite so I busted out the bread machine and I tried a new recipe. Orange Dream Bread. How can you go wrong with bread that calls for orange juice concentrate, candy orange slices, and white chocolate chips??? It smells like it's burning right now, so I'm a little skeptical, but I guess we'll see in 45 minutes. It's 10pm, and we started it at 7. That's the problem with bread machines....it's an all day affair. Takes some advance planning. I can barely plan what my next snack is, let alone when I'm going to need a fresh baked loaf of bread!

Oh, and really? Sanjaya needs to GO! Like, 3 weeks ago!!!

I'm a sinner. But at least I know it.

I know for a fact God is punishing me. How do I know this? Let me explain. Last year I did not enter any competitive (read:paid) March Madness pool. I was very sad. But righteous...I guess. I had Florida winning it all (like always) and I won our dinky, bragging-rights-only pool. And it left me thinking, if only I had entered a paid pool....So this year, I did. Only $10, nothing extravagant. Still have Florida winning. And where do I stand? DEAD LAST. BY A MILE. No joke. It's very pathetic, but more embarassing. I feel bad for Derrick, whose coworkers see this list and "Karen Callister" at the bottom and are thinking, "Wow, Derrick's wife is such a loser!" I knew I should have entered as "Britney Spears"! It really is a good thing I don't have tons of extra cash to throw around, because I'd be a gambling addict, no doubt about it. Speaking of...who's up for a Texas Hold 'Em night? Serious. I need to play some poker soon. Any takers?

I love Easter because I love hard boiled eggs. Yes, I'm aware hard boiled eggs exist year round. But for some reason it never occurs to me to make them at any time other than Easter. I really wanted some the other night so I made 6 or so and have been munching on them all week. Great snacks! I just have to be careful not to have a repeat performance of the last time I craved them. Maybe a year ago, I made some for us to eat, and I ate about 4 (low estimate) at once. Like within 3 minutes. Let's just say I didn't see those eggs, or anything else I ate, for like 5 days. It was horrible. Who knew hard boiled eggs could cause so much pain and sickness and CONSTIPATION??? More than you wanted to know, I'm sure. Let my mistake be a lesson to you all. Anyway, I need to pace myself, or I'm on the fastrack to another egg-splosion!

Yesterday it was 80 degrees. No joke. I had lunch with some girls from church (ok, they were around my age, but "ladies" just sounds so frumpy, and I don't ever want to be called a "lady", unless it's because I'm royalty) and right after I left I headed straight to Wal-Mart and bought 2 chaise lounges. One pink, one blue. I'll let you guess who got which one. They are the classic chairs from the 80's made out of that sticky plastic tubing and aluminum pipes. LOVE THEM! I sat outside and (tried to) read, but mostly slept and enjoyed the incredible weather. 80 degrees in March in WIsconsin is like finding a $20 bill in an old purse. Super exciting and unexpected and gone before you know it.

So I realized that the half marathon is quickly creeping upon me, and I must start to get serious. So I ran 5 miles on Saturday. Am I amazing or what? Now if I can just keep on schedule I'll be good to go. Not entirely sure if Derrick is still going to run it with me...He's up to running a mile without stopping now. Haha. We'll see....He may just have to be my biggest fan and cheerleader.

Know what's yummy? Crystal Light's Cherry Pomegranite with Immunity. I love those little skinny packets-perfect for water bottles. The Fruit Punch is delicious as well. Great way to get your water!

I need a nap. And I'm going to take one!

Lead legs

So Derrick is on this 4 week diet blitz until we go to Florida. I'm joining him (sort of). He's hard core though, no snacks, sweets, soda, anything. I figure I work out so I CAN have a treat every now and then! We are working out almost every day though, so I should see faster results than I was seeing. Anyway, I've been doing lunges the past 2 nights, and I can hardly walk today. I like it when my muscles hurt, but it sucks at the same time. He got his office to join him and they are having a Biggest Loser type of competition--most % weight lost wins. Weigh in is April 19th, the day before we leave. We'll see who wins!

I've been obsessed with Mika lately, mostly the song "Grace Kelly". So fabulous. I downloaded more of his stuff the other night and haven't stopped listening to it since. "Big Girl (You are beautiful)" is good too, as well as "Ring, Ring". All good workout songs, too. Check it out!

You know what else I love?? Lemonades Girl Scout Cookies. I think they're new this year. Shortbread with lemon icing. Yum yum. I just had one for my midmorning snack. Now all I need is one of those waterproof pads to lay out under my desk and I'm all set for a nap!

I was supposed to go out with friends dancing last night but every single person bailed. LAME! Turns out, it was the RS Dessert Night at CCF so I decided to go to that instead. It was....interesting. Luckily there were a couple girls around my age so I talked to them most of the time. These things are usually on Thursday nights when I have clinical, so it was my first. I won't mind missing these from now on. Just sucks, b/c everything else they plan is during the day or kid oriented so I can't go. Oh well.

I love Easter time. Why? Cadbury Mini Eggs. Best Easter candy ever. Dainty cripsy shell with the best chocolate on the inside. They have dark eggs this year, too. Haven't tried those yet...but it's only a matter of time!

Well, my morning break is officially over. I didn't get my nap. :(

(Is it just this computer at work that doesn't show the pictures in the last post??? They worked at home....)

Retail therapy x10000

I can't believe tomorrow is already Friday. Spring Break is rapidly coming to an end. Minneapolis was soooo much fun. We got to the hotel, and I use that term loosely, around noon and headed straight to the mall after we checked in. We did some major shopping, hitting all 3 floors with several pit stops to make deposits to the trunk of the car. I wish I had taken a picture of trunk after we finished packing everything in, it was stuffed to the brim. Monday night we ate at the Cheesecake Factory, which was delicious as always, and may I recommend the spinach artichoke cheese dip? YUM!!! We were planning on going out dancing somewhere but after 8.5 hours of walking and shopping we were just too pooped. So we just went to bed. Tuesday we slept in, then got ready and went to Target, b/c after all, we were in the store's headquarters' city! Then we hit up Ikea, which was marvelous. I got some new flour/sugar containers which I love and other random things. Then we went back to the mall again to pick up things we wished we had gotten the day before. Then it was time to head back. So sad. We rocked out to our favorite songs, including an entire NKOTB album. If you don't know what NKOTB is, then I'm not sure we can still be friends. It was awesome. Anyway, here are a few visuals for your enjoyment.

I pulled over on the side of the freeway to get this great shot. I think everyone was freaked out that I stopped. I don't know what the big deal was. Doesn't everyone do that??



Deliciousness at the CCF. The food was good too. ;)



Easter props at Target. I bought mine. Lamb ears!!! How cute!



In front of Mecca.



Quite possibly the highlight of the trip. Or my life. Redeeming my Scoopie Points for a Team Scoopie T-Shirt and Scoopie Plush. I looooove Culvers. If you have never eaten at Culver's, you are truly missing out. I have been collecting Scoopie Points since we've moved here. I only eat Kids Meals there. I am in love with Scoopie, he is adorable. And such a charmer.



Me and my girl Linds.



It was way too much fun, and way too short. We shoulda stayed an extra day. Next time.

I heart March Madness

Tuesday it was be-yooooooo-tiful out, so we grilled hamburgers. They were deeee-licious. Such a teaser though, b/c the next day it got chillier. Still, it was great to have a pretend day of Summer in the middle of March.

This week at clinicals was sad. My patient, who I've had for a couple weeks now, has been slowly going downhill. Well, from Tuesday after to Wednesday morning, he got much much worse. They transferred him down to the Hospice floor yesterday and gave him a day or two only. His family really liked me and were hugging me and thanking me, which was really cool, but it was still very sad. He was such a sweet man, wouldn't complain even if he were in the worst pain. He lived with his "lady friend", who is also the cutest old lady ever. They were engaged when they were 18. Then he took her out one night for a martini, and when she got home fell flat on her face when she walked in the door. Her mother told her she was never to see that boy again. And she didn't. It wasn't until their 50th high school reunion that they met back up, and he asked her to dance. His wife was in the late stages of Alzheimer's, so he and this "lady friend" just remained friends. His wife soon died and they began dating. She moved in with him 7 years ago and they've been together ever since. Isn't that the cutest story????

March Madness starts today!!! We've got all our brackets filled out and we're ready to watch! You better believe I entered a pool this year. We'll see how it all pans out! Let's hope those Gators go all the way!

Well, I should get moving. I feel like I haven't run in ages, so I should probably hit up the gym. May 27th is coming up faster than I thought!! Yikes!

Bust out the Depends!

WE'RE GOING TO FLORIDA!!!!

I'M GOING TO PEE MY PANTS!!!!

April 20th-23rd!!!!

Cantwaitcantwaitcantwait.....

Mostly gripes, so beware.

This job is hurting me. Seriously. Too much repetitive movements in my right shoulder and left wrist, and they are both killing me. I'm on an old skool computer today, which sucks even more. It's one of those old yellowish ones, and the keyboard makes so much noise when you type. And instead of a rectangular "backspace" key there's a square with an arrow pointing to the left. Lovely. My fingers aren't used to that so instead of hitting the backspace I'm constantly typing backslashes. I try to delete them and end up only making more backslashes. Grrr.

The high is supposed to be 54 today. I almost wore shorts today! Ok, not really, but I could have. Pathetic how I think this is soooo warm, and it's only in the 50s!!! Still, it's really nice out, and it's supposed to be even nicer tomorrow. Then God decides that we've had just enough happiness for one week and drops it down into the 30s again. Sigh.

One week from today and I'll be browsing the stores in the Mall of America. I already have a list of things I want to look for. It's going to be grrrrrreat!

For some reason I was under the assumption that the Jerry Springer show was no longer being taped. I knew it was still on TV, but I figured they were all reruns. Boy was I wrong. As soon as I figured this out, you better believe I put in a request for tickets to a taping! Either next week Thursday or the week after that Monday. Fabulous. I might have to black out a few teeth and hunt down a flannel, but gosh darnit, I'll make it happen! It used to be so much better before they cracked down on throwing chairs and stuff like that. Classic American entertainment, if you ask me.

I submitted to another baby shower invitation. Every time I get invited I debate about goin and eventually say yes. Then I go and remember why I don't like going to them. Because inevitably I'm the ONLY ONE without kids, and someone always likes to point that out. Why do I still go? Is it the bad appetizers? Is it the cheesy games? I don't know. All I know is that when I replied to the evite and simply said "looking forward to it!" while EVERY OTHER SINGLE PERSON said something like "what can I bring?" or "let me know how I can help!". Heck, I'm lucky if I get a couple offers to help when I throw showers. But now I look like the jackass b/c I didn't offer. I've paid my dues, I shouldn't have to take anything, right? Noooo. I changed my answer and offered to bring something, and promptly got an email asking me to bring an appetizer. I'm weak. I know it. But at least I can bring something good to eat. Now the only question left is what to make...

So the brackets came out yesterday and Florida is #1 seed. Of course I will pick them to win it all, like I always do, but now everyone else will too. Bandwagoners. And this year I'm putting money on it! I got screwed last year!

Looking like it's going to be a busy week, so who knows when I'll blog again...It keeps me sane, so I really should schedule it in. That's true dorkiness, right there. Sheesh.

I'm boring.

Another week come and gone. Tuesday we had this Nurses Day at the Capitol in Madison. I thought it was going to be this huge convention with tons of nurses from all over the state. Wrong. Totally lame. Pretty much only students, and only abot 3 hundred or so people there. We had to sit and listen to people push their political agendas on us for 3 hours. What a waste of time and 30 bucks. At least I got a couple pens from some recruiters.

I spent the day in the Cardiac ICU on Wednedsay, which was really cool. My patient was on total life support: ventilator, dialysis, you name it. It was crazy. He had like 10 IV lines in, too.

I put a catheter in this week. In a weiner. A black weiner. I know you're jealous.

There was so much I meant to blog about this week, but now I can't remember any of it. I work tomorrow, and will be incredibly bored, so be on the lookout for a blog tomorrow!

I robot.

Alas, it's Monday, and I'm working. Doing the same old stuff they always make me do. I am a machine. The same keystrokes over and over and over again. I honestly feel like I'm getting carpal tunnel. To make things worse, the phone at my desk is no longer connected, so I can't even make any calls. Well, I can use my cell phone, but that uses precious minutes. Minutes that are already dwindling, and it's not even 2 weeks into our new month of minutes yet.

This weekend was uneventful. Friday night we went to see Casino Royale with our friends but get to the theater only to discover they've decided to not show the 7:30 showing after all. Can they do that?? I don't know. The only other thing showing around that time was Babel, so we said what the heck. It was....interesting. I actually liked it a lot more than some other Oscar nominated films. What is it about Oscar movies? Who says they all have to be artsy fartsy and way out there? Anyway, Brad Pitt looked beat, and a million years old. There were good storylines though, and I particularly liked the one with the Mexicans. Imagine that. Speaking of Mexicans...I saw this shirt at Hot Topic on Saturday and it CRACKED me up.



Quite hilarious, if you ask me.

The good thing about my job is the lack of interaction with anyone else. I sit in my cube and listen to Ike and plug away. So today I listed to an album that I got my Senior year of high school at Grad Night at Disney World. I love this CD for some reason. It's just a mix of random songs, random artists. There's some Foo Fighters and Eagle Eye Cherry, but nobody I had really heard of. Anyway, while I was listening, I put my data entry brain on autopilot, and started day dreaming of Clearwater. I tried to see if I could get around town, if I remembered how to get to the mall, the beach, my friends' houses. I was thinking how great it would be to be there instead of here right now. I think I would probably cry the entire time, b/c I would see something and it would remind me of something great or funny or sad. I would probably cry b/c in my mind it's still the perfect place, but in reality it's not. The people I loved while I was there have changed, moved, died. But I really want Derrick to go there, so I can show him all the places I loved. Where I worked, where I played, where I was a dork in marching band. So I started looking up flights online. Roundtrip tickets to Tampa for only $200! Next month! That would be wonderful. Except, I wonder if it would make me even more homesick for it. I just love Florida. Love it, love it, love it.

I need to get a job at the airport so I can fly for free. Hmmm......

My right leg is shorter than my left. I know this b/c my right pant leg is always under my heel. Good thing I don't walk with a limp!

I made Derrick watch E.T. last night. His very first time. Such a great movie! He thought it was "a little creepy". What does he know. It's a classic. I cried. And I thought about the E.T. ride at Universal Studios in Orlando that I loved.

Well, my lunch break is over, and I gotta go potty. Hope everyone has a great Monday!!

300!

This is my 300th post!! Wowza! I was pseudo-tagged by Lara about why I blog. Since this is such a momentous blog, I shall answer. Actually, I don't have a definitive answer as to why I blog. Mostly just to vent. I'm by no means a writer, nor do I think I ever will be in my life. I hope someone somewhere enjoys reading this, and I would love to join the ranks of Dlisted and Perez Hilton, but I realize my life (or me writing about others') is just not that exciting for people to read. So yeah, I do it for me. And so that others across the country know what's going on with us. Boring, I know.

It's been snowy lately, but not too cold, so I can't complain too much. I have a giant pile of snow in front of my garage that is a result of only snow blowing around.

Work was rough this week. I felt like I was constantly doing stuff wrong. But I survived. One of my patients was this cute little old man with cancer that was spreading throughout his body. Super nice, although very greasy little man. Literally. His head was shiny all the time. My other patient? 20 year old gun shot to the arm. I think it involved drugs. All I know is he hated being there, was in a lot of pain, and let me know about it. Oh, and he was handcuffed to the bed by his ankle and had to have a 24 hour a day police guard in the room. How fun.

I had the most delicious shrimp coctail this week at dinner. I shouldn't have had it, b/c now all I crave is shrimp. Yuuuummmmm. I also had blue cheese dressing, which I've avoided like the plague since...birth. I don't know why, since I LOVE blue cheese these days. Except, I'm pretty sure the blue cheese dressing they serve at Eddie Martini's is not Kraft. And I'm not about to buy a million different types of dressing to find a good one. So...suggestions?

When I started this blog, I had something to say. But now I don't remember. So...sorry for the pointless blog. If I remember it later, I'll be sure to let you know!