I am a prophetess

Went to the people doc today. Did a rapid strep and rapid mono. Both negativo. The PA thinks it's a virus. "They usually run their course in 14 days. We'll just wait and see how it plays out." I feel like freaking Zoltar. "I wish I were big."


Hmmm....maybe I should open up a shop with velvet curtains everywhere, and crystals hanging around, and pan flute music playing in the background with incense burning, and a big crystal ball in the center by a cleopatra sofa, and charge $10 a reading. Could be good money, right? In my mind I'm envisioning the psychic's place in Balboa by the Fun Zone, next to the store with the naughty t-shirts. Who knows what I'm talking about???

Too many sickies in one apartment

Well, since I have been sick for about 5 days now I decided to make a doctor's appointment. Which conflicts with Ike's appointment. So, Ike will have to wait for another day, while I get seen and told "There's nothing you can do but wait it out."

Oh, and it's raining today. Which fits my mood exactly.

Ike has died again

Ike is dead. Again. Last time I left him alone for awhile and he resurrected himself. So far, no such luck. My showers have been quiet and lonely without him to keep me company. I get ready still and silent. In other words, my bathroom life is borrring. I miss him. I need him. So tomorrow we have an appointment at the Genius Bar to get him checked out. I have no receipt or documentation that he's legit since I bought him on eBay (an electronic WOP if you will...) so I'm sure I'll either get charged a fortune or turned away by the geeks in the neon green shirts at the Apple Store. He is pushing three years old now, and is quite ancient compared to his cousins that he sees at airports and gyms. I mean, he's still in black and white, folks! I think the new Nano's are adorable, but they don't have near enough memory. Right now I'm sitting at 4680 songs, which would play for 44.1 days, using 15.19 GB. That's a lot of tunes, right? And I couldn't possibly bear to think about parting with any of them. We all remember my attempt at cleaning out the fragrance drawer...

So anyway, say a little iPod prayer for your friend and mine, Ike. Let's hope we never have to do this:

Thought of the day

"If you've never been thrilled to the very edge of your soul by a flower in Spring bloom, maybe your soul has never been in bloom." --Audra Foveo

(Picture taken in Chicago during the tulip festival)

McRest in McPeace

Let's all take a moment of silence for Herb Peterson, inventor of the Egg McMuffin, who died today. Is there anyone else in the history of food who has done more for civilization? Julia Child? No. Emeril Lagasse? No. Not even my beloved Alton Brown. The Egg McMuffin has always been there for me. Early morning road trips. Early morning break ups. Lazy Saturday mornings. Of course, they used to be 2 for $2, back when I was a kid. When we had to walk to our McDonald's uphill in the snow both ways.

For Herb, and for me, have an Egg McMuffin this week.

Pop! Goes my heart!

If you know what the title is from, we are truly meant to be friends.

I worked three in a row this week, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Today I am exhausted, and sick on top of that. Coincidence? Maybe. I dunno. But one of the good parts about working a lot of shifts close to each other is that I get to keep a lot of the same patients, and get to build up a rapport with them. It's always a good feeling when I walk in there the second night and their face lights up and they tell me they're glad I'm their nurse again. (Could that sentence be a better example of the use of their/there/they're? I don't think so. Read and learn, baby.) I had a lot of Spanish speaking patients this week, too, which is always a learning experience. This morning as I made my rounds to say goodbye to everyone, I stopped in one of my Spanish speaking patient's room, and we started chatting about her kids and how long I've been married and all sorts of stuff. In Spanish. Yes, I had a full on conversation with her in Spanish, and it was awesome. She then expressed her gratitude to me, and gave me a huge hug, and was calling me mija, which I love, b/c that's my mom and aunts and uncles and grandparents on her side used to call me, and for some reason I always felt so loved when I was called that. WARNING: CHEESE ALERT AHEAD. And as I walked out of her room, I felt my heart begin to swell (probably the first time I've ever said that, except in singing Come, Come Ye Saints, whose last verse unfailingly makes me cry), and the mental image of "the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day" popped into my head. And that's exactly how I felt. And I even went through all the trouble to screen print pictures from YouTube videos so you can fully understand how I felt.

It was all I could do not to cry right there in the hall. I've been feeling quite emotional lately. And thoughtful. And pensive. (Movie, anyone?) Maybe it's sleep deprivation? In any case, I love my job, and I love the feeling I get from helping other people. Their simple "thank you" is enough for me.

I had a flower garden of babies this week. No joke, I had an Azalea, Lily, and Daisy. Oh, and a Sobriety. Born to a mom who used crack and pot and alcohol. So sad.

I'm off until Monday, so I'm bringing Donkey back!

Nipples and weiners

Last night I admitted a family with an 8 year old son. The parents were super laid back and really nice, and I was in and out of their room for awhile getting things set up. At one point the little boy was holding the baby in the rocking chair, and the mom and I got to talking about breastfeeding.

Mom: So do I need to do anything different with my breasts?
Me: Well, when you shower, don't use soap on your nipples, so they don't dry out.

At this point, the little boys' eyes FLEW open at the mention of nipples, and looked around like he heard a naughty word. We all started laughing and his dad said, "You mean nickels, right? Code words! Code words!!"

It was so funny, and you probably had to be there, but I kept apologizing through my laughs. I excused myself and said I'll be back to talk about it with her later after they left. The weird thing is, I heard this conversation before the dad and son:

Dad: C'mon, let's go. We don't want to see mom feed the baby.
Son: Yes we do. Why not?
Dad: No way. I mean, anyway, we have adult movies at home. We don't need to see it here!

Who tells their 8 year old son that???? Creepy.

On to the weiners portion of the post. There is a lady who wants to get a group together and see this:
Anybody wanna go?? I mean, c'mon, it's the ancient art of genital origami!!!

Eastah!

Yesterday was our 4th Annual Easter: Dinner and Tournament. Always a good time, and always tons of good food. This year was no exception. The Chaplin's graciously opened their home for us, which I know from experience is hard on a preparation and clean up standpoint, so thank you so much! The table was gorgeous and everything was very festive. I may be passing the torch for good after seeing how nice it was yesterday! Remind me to never work the night before Easter. I thought at any moment I would fall face down asleep into my funeral potatoes. If you're eating them for Easter, shouldn't they technically be called resurrected potatoes?

After dinner we dyed eggs in preparation for the egg toss. A quick peek out the window to see how much light we had left and what do we find? SNOW! Are you kidding me? However, tradition must continue, and we all bundled up and headed out into the street. In what is arguably the quickest egg toss ever, I drop early, shattering our egg. I blame it on sheer exhaustion and wearing glasses which threw off my perception. The snow wasn't helping, either. So, for the second year running, Mike and Jessica emerged the champions.

Post-celebratory egg kiss.

The rare emergence of a bespectacled me, eyes too tuckered out to keep contacts in any longer.

Linda and a happy Carter, who was throughly enjoying coloring eggs.

We did too. If you ever wonder why Derrick always looks so bug-eyed in all his pictures, it's because if I don't remind him to open his eyes he always looks drunk. So he overcompensates.

The Anthony's, braving the snow with cute little Elizabeth all bundled up.

Adorable Jessica and her delicious strawberry shortcake. I didn't catch a pic of the eclairs, but they were amazing as well!

Church was good, from what I remember. I don't know if I can keep going straight from work. I totally dozed during one of the speakers, and that's so embarassing! And rude! Our Laurels Advisor is the best ever. Her lessons are amazing and the girls just adore her. It's probably b/c she's so darn adorable and just like a loveable grandma. Which she is. Anyway, her lesson was so great, and the girls are just amazing, and so smart, with such strong testimonies. I was sooo tired and contemplated leaving halfway through, but I couldn't bring myself to leave. And after the lesson when the Advisor bore her testimony of the resurrection and Easter and asked if I had anything to add, I couldn't even bring myself to stop crying to say anything. I just knew it was all true and hoped the girls knew I did as well. It was a great ending to the meeting block, and I'm so glad I decided to stay.

Easter really is a wonderful time of year, and if there's one good thing about living in the Midwest is that everyone is really religious, and there are a lot of opportunities to talk about Christ, even if it's not in an LDS context. For example, Sunday morning at the end of my shift, we were all in the nursery talking about Good Friday and the events that transpired and just different aspects of the crucifixion and it was really cool/weird/interesting to be sitting in a hospital nursery talking to such a wide variety of women about Christ and Easter.

We looked at this picture yesterday in our class, and I love it. It's just beautiful and flowy and evokes a feeling of peace and joy. And I especially love the one angel on the left, the only one not playing a trumpet, but instead is praying. I can just imagine the feelings of gratitude and happiness she's expressing. Just love it.

Hope everyone had a great Easter!

Idiots

Imagine you are at the doctor's office, nervously and anxiously awaiting the results of a blood test, or x-ray, or MRI. From the sound of the doctor's voice on the phone, it doesn't sound good. You walk in, he greets you solemnly, and says, "I'm sorry. The test results are back and it's not looking good for you. You are going to die, and you have between 1 week and 20 years to live." What would you do? What would you say? Would you request a more narrow time span? Most definitely. A range such as that is preposterous. It would never, ever happen.

So please tell me why the weathermen here feel it is acceptable to predict snowfall from 4"-13". Is that reasonable? No. NO. A 9" range? 4" of snow is hugely different than 13".

I take back everything I said yesterday about good moods and springtime and happiness.

Boi-oi-oi-oing! IT'S SPRING!

Well, technically, at least. These past two days have been sooo sunny and "warm" and gorgeous. And I have been in the bestest of moods. Proof that I am indeed a creature of warmth. I need the sun. I crave it. Humans are just not engineered to live in cold, dark climates.

I can only hope that my good mood continues, despite the SNOW STORM we're supposed to get tonite. Boo. But everything else is going swimmingly. Work is going great, with the high possibility of a switch to days. My friends are amazing. I've been cleaning stuff out, and that always feels great--like a fresh start--and I love anything fresh and new. There is Easter candy everywhere. And I'm not scared to say that Easter has THE best candy of any holiday. Cadbury Mini-Eggs are hands down the best chocolate candy on the market.


Of course there's always the SweeTarts chicks and bunnies, Starburst Jellybeans, and the infamous Peeps. Who can resist a good Peep show??


Something they have here in Milwaukee that I've never seen anywhere else is Lamb Butter. Butter shaped like a lamb. I don't know where it originated, but I love it, and I buy it every year. The only thing better than butter is holiday-shaped butter!


It's just a good time of year. The promise of summer is just around the corner, and you can hear the geese calling in the distance, coming back home. Where the daylight lingers just a few minutes longer each day, offering you the chance to savor all that is turning green with life once more. When the promise of the atonement is renewed and refreshed, and you remember just why we celebrate this season of new life.

Happy Spring, everyone!

Video killed the radio star

Here is a classic example of how a music video can make a song much more appealing. Mariah Carey performed this very song on SNL this past week and I was like, "meh" about it. I even skipped through it. Then this morning I saw the video. And now I love this song. I present to you: Touch My Body

New celebri-crush

We saw Enchanted last week and 27 Dresses last night, and now I'm totally in love with James Marsden. How adorable is he??? Too dreamy. Yes, I said dreamy.

Now I need to watch X-Men again. And let's not forget Hairspray. What a fun movie.

27 Dresses was really cute. Derrick didn't gripe too much about going (we all know he secretly likes chick flicks), but walking in he chanted under his breath, "I'm the only dude, I'm the only dude..." Which was NOT true. I counted 3 other guys. As I will be in 3 weddings in the next 7 months, I could totally relate to Katherine Heigl's character. All in all, it was worth the dollar each we paid to see it.

Am I old???

I was up before 8am today, which is really quite a feat for me. Especially considering I didn't get up until 1:30pm yesterday.

So I flip on the tube and realize that my early hour has given me the rare opportunity to see actual music videos on MTV and VH1. You'd think that'd be as common and obvious as seeing food on the Food Network, cartoons on Nickelodeon, or CSI on SpikeTV, but you'd be wrong. So I'm enjoying a little Big 10 and Jumpstart, and I notice that the titles at the beginning and end of the videos are HUGE, and not just in the lower left-hand corner anymore. When did they start doing that? I mean, 7 years ago at BYU it wasn't like that!

Then I realized I'm getting old.

For the most part, I feel like I'm pretty hip to new technology and pop culture-y things. I have an iPod, a Palm Pilot, and a webcam. I know who's in rehab and who's having babies. I know who got booted off of Survivor last week and who sucked on American Idol. I mean, I have all the makings of great water cooler talk, right? There is one modern fad, however, that I feel completely and absolutely clueless about. It's those Webkinz thingies. I have absolutely no idea what they're about, despite an explanation from a girl at work whose kids are nuts about them.

I mean, I'm practically one foot in the grave already. Next thing you'll tell me is there's kids outside playing on flying skateboards.

This is why I need kids: to keep me young. And to do all the chores I hate.

I better never, ever be smelly

Today I deep cleaned our bathroom. Not a spring cleaning, but a spring purging. From one small 8x3 room I managed to fill an entire garbage bag full of junk. How is that even possible? I'll tell you how: I try every new hair and/or skin product that makes it out onto the market. It's ridiculous.

As I was cleaning out my fragrance drawer--yes, an entire drawer dedicated to highly scented liquids--I realized I have way too many. Look at my arsenal of things whose sole purpose it to make me smell good. It's not like I smell bad to start with, so why all the additions? I decided it was time to weed through them all and only keep the good ones.


So I began to give each one a test spray, and with each spray I was whisked back to a far away time, and happy memories flooded my mind, and how could I possibly throw away a vessel of such happy thoughts?

Take Autumn, front row, just left of center. A Gap scent that was retired long before it should have been, one sniff of this takes me back to Las Vegas with Laura, Maria, and Forgie. We sprayed that stuff constantly to combat the smoke. Later, when I found out it was discontinued, I rationed it. I still look for it when I got to Gap Outlets, a little glimmer of hope that gets squashed every time.

And then there's Lovespell, the classic Victoria's Secret scent of the early 2000's, just to the left of the behemoth orange bottle on the right. One whiff and I'm transported back to Heather Cove Condominiums, where my roommate Maria hooked me on it. The same apartment where we saw peeping Toms in our window.

And we can't forget Shades, the dark blue bottle in the middle, which I'm sure nobody has ever heard of. I bought it at Wal-Greens in high school, and smelling it reminds me of going to my Senior prom with Tommy, and going to the beach with my friends.

Of course, a staple in every girls repertoire is Cucumber Melon, which was the first gift I received from Derrick when we were first dating. He said it was his favorite, so of course I used it all the time.

I love how certain scents can evoke different feelings and emotions. It's really amazing, isn't it? So naturally, after having mini flashback after mini flashback, did I toss any of them?

No.

Another trip down memory lane....

I think we all remember the post on my transition, but I thought I would expound on it. You know, give you more regular intervals of my transition through life. This will undoubtedly be quite humiliating for me, but please, don't let that stop you from ripping shamelessly on me. Because I know you will anyway.

We start with Preschool. That's me on the left in the front row, with super sweet pink pants and the ruffly shirt. See? I was a cute kid, right? I don't really remember a lot about Preschool, except I learned how to tie my shoes at this time. That has still proven useful to this day.

Moving on to Kindergarten. Still relatively a cute kid. Quite innocent, and look at those dimples. Old men couldn't resist my charm. Notice the cowlick above my right eye. My right, not yours. That thing STILL plagues me.

First grade: Cowlick still in action, and my hair is so thin my barrettes slide out constantly, as you can see. Did my teacher not think to help me out and adjust them for me before I took a picture that would live forever?
Second grade: Enter buck teeth. And the cowlick has begun to take steroids. I think my favorite part about these pictures is seeing what I was wearing. Typical 90's fare, right here. Thing is, it was probably my favorite shirt at the time if I'm wearing it for school pictures.

Third grade: A move to Puerto Rico gives me a healthy tan and beautiful flowing hair, despite the cowlick.

Fourth grade: Still in PR, and rockin' the neon sun dress. I had neon everything at this point. I remember distinctly my favorite t-shirt was a white shirt with a neon green batman logo with mutli-colored neon splatters. So hot. I loved it so much, I actually had 2.

Fifth grade: Things had to go downhill eventually, and 5th grade was the year. Back to the states, and the year Gigantic Blue Glasses made their debut. Too many changes for one year and one girl to handle. While I may not have gotten invited to a ton of birthday parties, I could spell a mean Elephant Word.

Sixth grade: Officially a middle-schooler now, I was in a bigger pond with much bigger, prettier fish. A girl like this can't compete with Kara Taylor, who was blond and perky and a cheerleader. I played my flute instead.
Seventh grade: Quite possibly the worst of them all. The combination of a new school, the cowlick that somehow migrated to the other side and giant bows led to the nickname "Abu". Yes, the monkey in Aladdin.
Eighth grade: Fed up with my hair, I grow it out and fight the cowlick, and my hair repays me by trying to swallow me. Whatever happened to the thin hair of 1st grade?? Things are getting better at this point, though. I'm growing some boobs and I'm friends with the popular kids.

Ninth grade: As if on cue, we pack up and move to Florida just as things are going great. It was a hard move for me, as you can tell from my picture. The only two people to talk to me my first day of high school were two hippy stoner chicks. They never talked to me after that, but they made all the difference to me that first day.

Tenth grade: Things got better quickly. I was making lots of friends, kicking some flute butt in marching band, and rockin' the 90's flannel like nobody's business. And check out how long my hair is. Yikes!

Here is our track picture from this year. Can you find me???

Eleventh grade: STILL in braces, for like the 4th year. Yes, those are overalls. Can you believe this is the year I got a boyfriend? Miracles do happen.

Twelfth grade: Senior year. A pretty good year. I wasn't thrilled with my senior pictures, but I mean, look at my track history. What was I expecting?? I don't know if I'm suffering from a Sun-In job gone wrong or what. I was outside a lot, maybe it's naturally bronzey.


I was band captain my senior year. Check out our sexy uniforms. I don't care what anyone says, I love marching band.
Fast forward to present day: Nursing graduation.


And there you have it. 23 years of me!

Let the trash talk begin!

Curtain call

My new sewing machine has been sitting neglected in the spare room since Christmas, calling out to me in whimpers. Sadly, I've had to ignore her. But this week I finally answered her call. Derrick was sick today, so we stayed home and I sewed all night.

My new schedule requires me to sleep during the day, which is no problem for me, as those who know me can attest. However, the sunlight, glorious as it is, has a tendency to keep me awake. So I made curtains.

Here is the one lonely, naked window in our bedroom. You know, where the "magic happens". And yes, that is Kermit gracing our bed.


And this is what hung for 2 weeks until I got around to making curtains. I know, I know, it looks like I live in a house that has wheels. The clothespins are a nice touch as well, don't you think? But dang, did it do a great job keeping out the light!


And here is the finished product. Pretty much looks like another blanket hanging up, but trust me, there are two curtains up there. Not very even, and not much to look at. But I MADE THEM! We'll see tomorrow how well they do compared to the eagle blanket.....

Now I need to make something pretty to compensate for these plain, ugly-but-functional curtains. Any suggestions?

And proof that Derrick is a sickly child, here he is, asleep on the couch, apparently too tired to even take the toothpick out of his mouth that was removing the Fruity Pebble bits from his teeth. Poor kid. (You might have to click on him to see it better)

Jazz/Bucks

Last night the Jazz were in town, so we went with some other Jazz fans (read: Mormons) and went to the game. Despite our nosebleed seats, we all had a good time, scoring free pizza and a T-shirt! The Jazz won, so everyone left happy. We even got tickets to shoot a free throw on the court afterwards. I missed. So did Derrick. Oh well.

Our free pizza! Unfortunately, mostly taste-free as well.

Carter supporting the home team. Mike, apparently unable to make a decision opts for the easy way out and roots for all of them.

Cameron and Miranda

This sign just goes to show you the level of intelligence we have here in Milwaukee. Defence???

Preparing for my shot.

Ooooh, just short!

I am a Tetris Master

I'm not one to brag, but I'm quite possibly the World's Greatest Tetris Player. I challenge anyone to beat me. I hardly ever, ever play, but tonite I decided to play a little game before bed. Just one game. No warm ups, just one little game. How many lines did I do before my blocks stacked up??

179.

Beat that. I took a picture in case you don't believe me. Each level is 10 lines. Level 17, baby. Read it and weep.


I'm also a Dr. Mario Master. I welcome all contenders.

Jamba Juice

I found a recipe for Jamba Juice's Strawberries Wild and decided to try it. It was decent, although I think I'd add more strawberries and less banana next time.

2 scoops strawberries ( approx 10 berries) ( I used frozen)
1 banana
2 scoops frozen yogurt
1 scoop ice (I used 5 big cubes)
8 oz apple juice

Winter Driving in Wisconsin

It goes without saying that this winter has been hellacious. I have compiled a list of three things that I have learned about driving in Wisconsin in the winter.

1) The best time to pick your nose while driving is if it's a blizzard outside. Everyone is so preoccupied with how they're driving and where they're going, nobody's watching you dig one out.

2) If you are driving while it's snowing, you will likely see lots of snow plows. However, they usually are driving with plows up, doing absolutely no good. Should you come across a plow truck actually plowing (gasp!), it will be driving the opposite direction you are.

3) If you swerve to dodge a pothole potcanyon, you will likey hit an even larger one doing so. I hit one so large a couple months ago it knocked my tire off the rim. My car sounds like the setup of a game of Boggle. The only thing keeping my tires connected to the body is some hope and a prayer.

Is it summer yet????

Childhood relived

Please tell me someone else remembers this stud from Sesame Street!



It's the Teeny Little Super Guy! I love(d) Sesame Street.

Cafe Rio Deliciousness

I got my hands on some Cafe Rio recipes this week, and decided to try them tonite with some friends. They turned out pretty good, if I may say so myself. I even got aluminum pie plates to eat them in and had green enchilada sauce so you could make it "enchilada style". And I didn't even charge everyone 79 cents for it. The salad dressing is so good. I made a burrito, but now I wish I'd tried the salad. We have buckets of leftovers, so I tomorrow I may just have to try it. All we needed was a flick at Movies 8 and a trip to Coldstone and we would have been back in Provo.

Anyway, for your eating pleasure, I present to you Cafe Rio:

Café Rio Lime Cilantro Rice

1 cup White Rice
2 cups Chicken Broth
1 Tb Lime Juice
½ Tb Garlic Powder
1 Tb Minced Dry Onion
Pinch of Salt

Cook the above ingredients according to the rice’s packing instructions (substituting the water with broth). When rice is done, add ¼ – ½ cup fresh cilantro, 1 TBL lime juice, and ½ can green enchilada sauce.

Café Rio Pork Barbacoa

2 ½ - 3 ½ lbs Pork Loin Roast
½ cup Dark Brown Sugar
½ cup Worcestershire Sauce
½ tsp Dried Oregano
½ tsp Powdered Ginger
1 tsp Salt
1 tsp Dry Chile Powder
1 tsp Garlic Powder
2 Tb Dried Minced Onion

Cook all of the ingredients in a Crock Pot approx. 4 hours on high. When done shred the pork. Then combine 1 can of Red Enchilada Sauce and ½ cup Dark Brown Sugar and pour on top.

Café Rio Tomatillo Dressing

3 fresh tomatillos, cut into quarters
juice of 1/2 lime
1/2 cup buttermilk (or make w/dry buttermilk mix)
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup sour cream
1 pkg. dry Ranch Buttermilk Dressing Mix
1 cup fresh cilantro (abt. one bunch)
6 stalks (1/2 bunch) green onions, w/ends
2 cloves crushed garlic
4 tsp. sugar
5 cross section slices of 1 jalapeno pepper

Place the above ingredients in a blender. Combine well and refrigerate one hour.

Black Beans

1 can black beans, rinsed and drained
1 1/3 cup tomato juice
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon ground cumin
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons fresh chopped cilantro

In a nonstick skillet, cook garlic and cumin in olive oil over medium heat until you can smell it. Add beans, tomato juice, and salt. Continually stir until heated through. Just before serving stir in the cilantro.

I don't think the beans are from Cafe Rio, but they are still good. Enjoy!

Thai Night!

One of my girlfriends' husband served his mission in Thailand, so we convinced him to do a how-to cooking night for us last night. It was a lot of fun! We even had Mai Tai's, in keeping with the theme. Virgin, of course! Steve showed us how to make pud thai and matsamah curry, which is my favorite thai dish! There's a great Thai place here called Singha Thai, and it's the only thing I ever get, so now I can make it whenever I want!