Storytime

Once upon a time there was a boy:

Who met this girl:
They fell in love and got married.
One day, after 4 1/2 years of being happily married, the boy gave the girl a special hug...

...and knocked her up.

Yes, it's true, I am with child. 3 months prego. At this point, our child is the size of a lime.
How can something so small cause so much havoc on my stomach and skin? (Yes, this lime is the reason my face looks like it erupted.)

Also, how is it that I feel like a cow,

yet I've actually LOST weight from puking so much?

It's mind-boggling.

I'm due January 12, in the dead of a Wisconsin winter. That should be fun.


Maybe by July we should be able to unwrap it and actually see what it looks like.

We are super excited, and scared stiff all at the same time. Mostly, I'm terrified that my feet will permanently grow and I won't fit into any of my shoes anymore. Derrick, on the other hand, is thrilled with the extra boost my chest area has received, and is terrified it may be their last hurrah.

What have we gotten ourselves into???

Magic Potion

I'm sure I've mentioned this on here before, but seriously, it's worth a million mentions. This stuff is the absolute best. Use it after a burn...you WILL NOT PEEL. It's a guarantee. Use it on your tan...it will last so much longer. It's a miracle worker. I would marry it if I could, it's that good.


And while we're on the topic of suncare products, a shout out to my most favorite sunscreen ever, Ocean Potion. It's broad spectrum, which everyone knows is the hot new things in sunscreens. Plus, it smells like cake batter. Mmmmm.... I myself am an spf 30 user. I feel it protects me but still lets me get a little color. I know, I know...oxymoron.

The beach foils me again

Don't get me wrong, I love going to the beach every year. But inevitably we always miss something going on here at home that we would have liked to do. For instance, the strawberry festival in Cedarburg is always the weekend we're away.

And now, today, I learn that I could have fulfilled a life goal next week, if only I were in town.

The Weinermobile will be at the Germantown SuperWalmart next Thursday.


My whole life I have been chasing this blasted vehicle. I want a weinie whistle. I want a picture with the giant weiner. And now I'll just barely miss it.

Curses to Beach Week.

I hope Pauly Shore will be there

Yesterday I got my very first notification ever that I am to serve jury duty. Actually, I'm just a reserve juror. I think the general consensus on jury duty is that it sucks, and nobody wants to do it. I, on the other hand, was kind of excited about it. But then, I also voluntarily sign up for surveys and telephone interviews. I also think it has something to do with the fact that in my mind I see the 12 of us in the deliberation room, hacking it out, and it being 11 other jurors against me, and with my powerful skills of persuasion I get them to change their minds, and ultimately save the defendant from a sentence of injustice. I emerge a superhero, people contact me to write a book, I become famous. See?? Sounds awesome already.

Plus, they actually pay you to do it. Yup. A whole 19 bucks a day. Which inevitably will go towards parking downtown.

Still, I think it would be neat to see how the whole process works. I probably won't even get called, but at least I will have attempted to fulfill my civic duty!!

Busy weekend

\This past weekend was my friend Courtney's wedding, which I was in. Friday night was the rehearsal dinner, and then the ceremony and reception was on Saturday. I danced all night, and then my legs were sore for the next two days. Either I did some hard core dancing, or I'm out of shape, says Chris. I say it's both.





Sunday we headed to Chicago after church to meet up with our friends Jared & Adrienne Wilson who were in town for some work training. We had delicious Giordano's deep dish pizza, and then walked around the city. Their two boys Wesley and Austin are super cute and were great sports about walking around the city.

The boys venturing out into the water fountains.

So unfair that a boy so small should have such loooong lashes.

Thanks for hanging out with us guys! We had a blast with you!!

A shack it is

As if we couldn't see it coming a mile away, we didn't get the house. How can you compete with another couple whose parents are paying for it, 100% IN CASH, at almost full asking price, and closing in 14 days? Just wiring the money over. Like, "hey, I think I'll buy this house today," like it's a pack of gum, or a breakfast burrito.

Seriously? Maybe it's a sign we're not supposed to buy a home in Wisconsin. It's very discouraging and frustrating, and I'm trying not to get too upset. Guess I should start looking for shacks, b/c it's obvious houses are out of the question, let alone mansions, and I'm sick of living in an apartment.

Let's buy a house, take 3

We put an offer down on a house today. Derrick's in NYC for work, so I'm pretty much doing it by myself. Yikes!


If this falls through, it must be a sign that we're destined to live in an apartment for the rest of our lives.

Dang, I knew playing MASH all those years in middle school would come back to haunt me. Guess it's better than living in a shack....

Letter

Dear skin,

You've been pretty good to me my whole life. I never had really bad acne, and for that, I thank you. During middle school, when I had frizzy hair, huge eyebrows, and braces, you could have stepped in and made things truly awful for me. But you didn't. You stayed behind the scenes, appearing only every 26-28 days, if ever.

You were never very sensitive. You wouldn't have cared if I washed you with motor oil, you always behaved nicely. Ever modest, you were never one to show off your pores, keeping them nice and small and hidden.

So tell me, oh skin of my face, why you feel it is necessary to act out now. Have I not been paying you enough attention? Surely that can't be the case. I spend more money on products for you than the rest of my body combined. Except for maybe hair removal.

It wouldn't be so bad, really, if it weren't for the fact that I'm in a wedding this weekend, and you will be in many pictures. Many pictures that will forever remind me of how bad you were.

Let's make up. Let's be friends again. I'll do whatever it takes. Please, just take your ugly red blemishes far, far away.

Pubescently yours,

Me

Best shows on TV

I love to watch TV. I think I've narrowed my top favorite shows to 3.

#3) Good Eats, Food Network. I love Alton Brown, I love food, I love this show. Scientific and delicious. And he's just full of handy dandy tips. Take cutting onions, for example:



#2) Cheap Seats, ESPN Classic. Seriously, this show is hilarious. The Sklar brothers are genius. This clip: the 1989 Holiday Bowl starring everyone's favorite, the BYU Cougars.



#1) 30 Days, FX. Hands down my favorite show ever. By Morgan Spurlock, who did "Super Size Me," which I also loved. It's a documentary-type show, but very easy to understand and very interesting. In the clip below, from a couple seasons ago, a Christian went and lived in Dearborn, MI in the largest Muslim community in America, with a Muslim family, for 30 days. The show raises a lot of questions, and makes you think. If you get FX, I would give it a shot. Tuesdays at 10 central.

Must Hate Dogs

Generally speaking, I am not a fan of animals. Let me preface the following by saying while I would never own a dog, that does not necessarily mean that I do not like your dog. There is a portion of my cold black heart that is mildly soft and warm and tingles a little bit when I see a cute puppy or kitten. I will pet your dog, scratch it perhaps, I won't run away scared, but should it try and lick my face, I will dropkick it.

Top 10 reaons I will never own a dog:

1) They are smelly.
2) They are smelly. They are so smelly, they warrant two whole reasons.
3) They leave hair everywhere. There are already 2 humans in our apartment that leave hair everywhere, we don't need an animal to contribute.
4) They chew on your stuff. You've seen my shoes. I don't want to risk losing any of them.
5) They pee and poo outside, with no concern for the weather. Yeah, like I want to stand outside in subzero temps so my dog can take a crap.
6) They bark.
7) Their food is expensive. I'd rather buy more shoes than a bag of dog food. Or heck, food for ME.
8) I refuse to pay a vet to operate on a dog who swallowed a quarter. That's money down the drain. And I'd be out a quarter.
9) Those nasty anal gland things. No thanks.
10) Arranging for a kennel so you can go out of town. What a joke.

So there you have it. I could go on, but I'll practice some restraint. If you have a dog, I don't like you any less. However, if you have a dog, I'm sure your opinion of ME just dropped. But I'm okay with that. I'll cry myself to sleep on my comfy bed that I don't have to share with a dog.

Human Tetris

Some friends are over watching the Laker game and were telling us about this one japanese game show episode, and while we were watching it on YouTube, I found this:



My mascara is running now b/c I was crying from laughing so hard. The first one is the best, I think. Sooo funny.

Don't know why there's no sun up in the sky, stormy weather....

It's been raining non-stop for the past 3 days. We've had tornado watches and warnings, which are especially fun at work b/c then we have to move all the patients into the hall. That gets hot and smelly, not a good mix. We heard the tornado sirens yesterday for the first time since we've been here. Let me tell you, that was a little freaky. Especially since we have no basement. There are lakes and rivers where there were none before, and I've heard of no less than 4 basements flooding. While I'm jonesing for a house big time, it's times like these that I'm glad I don't have one.

I missed the Belmont Stakes race b/c our satellite went out. I was really rooting for Big Brown. Dead last. What a bust.

The worst part about all the rain is the fact that I have to roll my window down to open my car door from the outside. That's not so fun. Maybe one of these days I'll take it in to get fixed. I think I'm just bracing myself for what it's going to cost to get fixed.

Still, I do love watching the storms, and there's nothing better than lying in bed reading a book when it's stormy out. And you better believe I'll take rain over snow any day.

And for your viewing and listening pleasure, a song courtesy of Travis, from "The Man Who", which is hands down the best rainy day CD ever.

San Francisco!

I've been neglecting the poor Wet Donkey for too long. But guess what? I'm a day shift nurse these days, so let's hope I'm a little more awake and able to blog! Monday was my first day shift, and it's amazing how I worked 12 hours and didn't feel like the chewed up shoe at the end. And I slept at night, and woke up refreshed at a decent hour! Truly amazing.

Ok. So after Sara's reception we drove back to Mountain View and stayed with Kaylynn. Sunday we saw pretty much all of San Francisco. I loved it. It was freezing, which I did NOT love, but overall a very great day. Actually, the day started out beautiful. No fog, nice and sunny, warmish. It wasn't until the trip out to Alcatraz that it really started to cool off. And by cool off, I mean plunge into practically sub-zero temperatures.

We started out by taking a trip to Treasure Island. My family used to live there when I was like 2. The view from the Island was incredible. You could see the whole city. It was really cool.



We headed back into the city and got in line for a cable car ride. We got lucky and got spots right in front! The views were great, and it was a crazy experience to hang off of a moving trolley!

We ended our trolley ride in Union Square, grabbed a snack and then took a cab up to the Coit Tower.

The view from up there was great, especially since it was such a clear day. I was surprised how packed the buildings and houses were. They were practically on top of each other. I've never been to Jerusalem, but that's what it reminded me of--just tons of houses with no space in between

We decided to walk from Coit Tower to Lombard street. I think at this point I may have broken a sweat. Probably the warmest I felt all day, that's for sure.


This is one of my favorite shots from the trip.

We then drove through the Castro District, Haight and Ashbury, and over to Alamo Park, where Full House was shot. (I know, talk about doing ALL the touristy things!!!)

We then drove through Golden Gate Park and across the Golden Gate Bridge. I don't know what it is about the bridge that I love so much, but I do. Maybe because it's red. Who knows.

Then we booked it to Pier 33 to make our boat to Alcatraz. The trip was absolutely freezing. But the views were, of course, amazing.



We did the whole audio tour through the prison, which was told by prisoners and guards themselves.
Even though the dudes serving time in prison were criminals (and by the way, Al Capone was one ugly cuss), I started to feel really bad for them. I mean, the prison was SO COLD and damp and dark and just a really crappy place to live. Then I remember they killed people and stole and I laughed an evil laugh and cursed their dead names.

Don't you love the power I have over making people pose for my crazy pictures?


After the trip back to shore, we headed to Pier 39 for dinner. You can't go to San Francisco and not have clam chowder in a bread bowl, or so I'm told. So that's what I did.

Doesn't it look tasty? It was.


Yes, I look like an Oompa-Loompa. I'm telling you, I froze my tail off.

We checked out the sea lions, which was loud and entertaining.


Who do you think was more entertaining? The sea lions or me??? The answer, of course, is me.We walked through Fisherman's Wharf and over to Ghirardelli Square to partake of delicious chocolate sundae-ness.


The next day we headed over to Half Moon Bay and walked around by the Ritz-Carlton for a bit.

Derrick thinks he's Asian and I'm loving my farm stand cherries.


Our gracious and very accommodating hosts for the weekend! Thanks guys!!!



Back in Mountain View we stopped by Google's headquarters. I'm not ashamed to say that this was one of my favorite parts of the whole trip. I'm a geek, I know. I just can't help myself. I'm a GoogleFreak.


At the reception desk there's a screen of continual searches going on all around the world. Nuts.

We topped off the weekend with a little Rockband action. I really liked the drums, but they were hard! Our little band did ok, though. We're rockstars.


Oh, and just so I don't disappoint the Connors, here's a picture of me with the Jelly Belly man in Old Town Sacramento. This one's for you, John & Ashley!


So there you have it, the longest post in history. It's been 5 days in the making, hanging over my head. I've had so many other post ideas, but I haven't let myself do them until I finished this one. So expect a plethora of posts very soon. Hopefully.

If you made it this far, you're either very dedicated, or very bored!!!