Thursday, January 04, 2007


In case you're wondering what kind of shoes to buy next, here are some ideas for you.

Electrolux is coming out with a pair of vacuum shoes. Yes, these shoes really so suck. You can walk around your house and clean your carpets at the same time! My mom is a stickler for taking your shoes off in the house, but I bet she'd let these one slide! Not the best looking pair of shoes I've ever seen. They look like pimp shoes. You need a sweet leisure suit to pull these babies off. Snoop could. But I bet Snoop has someone do his vacuuming for him.

Do you get lost easily? Have no sense of direction? Can't find your way out of a paper bag? Then these new GPS shoes are for you! Yes, there is a GPS system IN THE SHOES. Good for people who go hiking up on blizzardy mountains. (AKA idiots) Also good for keeping tabs on your cheating husband. A bit more stylish than the Shoovers, I wonder what happens to the chip if you step in a puddle??

And last but not least, the lazy man's (or woman's) shoe. North Face has come out with shoes that lace themselves. Because, yes, American's have officially become the laziest and fattest bastards on the planet. But if you're buying North Face shoes, you're probably pretty active. You can hike Everest and kayak the Grand Canyon but you can't tie your own shoes? I don't get it. I couldn't find a picture of these, but imagine the same granola shoes that North Face makes, with a little lace-tying-thingamajigger on it, and there you go.

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