Me: We are at the dock. When will the shuttle be here?
Enterprise Girl: What is your last name?
Me: Callister.
EG: Oh. We gave your car away.
Me: Why would you do that? What's the point of making a reservation if you're going to give our car away?
EG: We can't hold your car for you all day.
Me: That's stupid! We made a reservation!
EG: I'm sorry.
Me: Well......you guys SUCK!
And then I hung up. And that's exactly how it went. I was at a loss for words, and really, she was right. We were late for our appointment (not MY choice, mind you). So we wound up hopping on a National shuttle which took us to the airport, which is 7 miles away on a one way road undergoing construction. Great. After waiting in the line to get a car, we had to go back the way we came, on the 7 mile, one way road under construction. A certain mother-in-law wanted to check out the Kona Temple, which is in walking distance of the pier, and then the oldies decided to do their own thing at the pier, and we went to Turtle Beach, which has a $10 shuttle to and from. So please explain to me why spent all that time and money going to rent a car when we could have walked to the temple, and then taken a cheap shuttle to the beach? Slightly annoying, if you ask me.
So we get to this obscure beach, Turtle Beach, and Derrick and I do some snorkeling and Daniel rents a board and tries to surf. We see amazing fish, including the Humuhumunukunukuapoa'a, the Hawaii state fish, and we swim with a turtle for awhile, which was really cool. These guys are everywhere, no wonder they're the state fish!
The beach is really rocky, and you have to walk across a ton of rocks to get out into the open. On our way back out the second time, I slipped and hurt the bottom of my foot. As I'm trying to put my fins on, I look and it's just gushing blood. Yikes. Not wanting to be some shark's afternoon snack, we head back in and I rinse it off. It is still gushing. Like, I left a trail of blood across the rocks and the sand. Talk about sanitary. Derrick enlists the help of the friendly suntanned lifeguard who rinses it off and then puts gauze and elastic wrap over it. He says to clean it out when I get home, and that it might need stitches. Great. I ask him if this happens often and he replies with a sigh, "All day, everyday."
I know, I know. Tis but a flesh wound. But it was bleeding a lot, and it hurt to walk on it for awhile after that. Still kinda hurts if I put too much pressure on it.We leave shortly after that, Daniel not catching a single wave, and make the trek back to return our useless car. Back on the ship I take off the gauze to assess the damage and clean it out, and it starts gushing again. I think I need stitches, and Derrick agrees. So we go down to the medical center, where we check in and the first question the nurse asks is, "You're aware of our fees, correct?" Great. We say yes, we are aware, and how dare they charge 130 smackers for just an office visit, how do they sleep at night? Ok, not really, but c'mon, just for an office visit? Please. She takes my vitals, and turns out she's from Milwaukee. Oregon. Who knew there was a Milwaukee in Oregon? The doctor (what a sweet gig, right?) takes off the bandage and of course does NOT bleed for him AT ALL. He checks it out and turns out the rock like shaved a wedge of skin off, so I can't even get stitches since there's not really two sides to bring together. So not only are we paying a ton for a visit, we essentially have nothing to show for it. It's times like this were I almost WISH something were wrong, that I needed to have something done, just to feel like I got my money's worth. You know? Well, he does exactly what Mr. Lifeguard did, and Derrick plays up the fact that I'm a nurse and can do all this myself, so Cruise Doctor gives me extra gauze and tape so I can wrap it myself. That was nice of him. What was also nice was receiving the bill, and finding out he only charged us about 50% of what we thought it was going to be. How nice of him! Anyway, all of this happened at the same time we would have been renewing our vows. I don't think we would have gone anyway, but at least now we have an excuse.
That night was Lobster Night in the dining room, and our crazy waiter, Amir, brought us each 2 tails. We were lobstered out. Derrick, of course, wouldn't touch any of us the rest of the night. Our waiter, Amir, would call the girls "lady" which was so funny to us. "What do you want, lady?" "Would you like some more water, lady?" It's like when he was learning English someone told him that lady was the formal way to address a female. But the way he said it made him sound like an Iranian construction worker.
After dinner Derrick and I went to a video short showing of "Destino", which is a 6-minute movie collaboration between Walt Disney and Salvador Dali. I loved it, but I love all things Dali. The movie was essentially a cartoon of Dali's art. It was really cool, I thought. The way he hides different things in his pieces, it's all like a big pun (no, not the rapper...although I still don't wanna be a player no more...) And you know I love me some puns!
Anyway, it's really beautiful, so if you ever get the chance to see it, check it out. It's only 6 minutes, you can do it!Next stop: Kauai!
No comments:
Post a Comment