Friday, February 12, 2010

Close Encounters of the Weirdo Kind

In the past week or so I’ve had 3 very weird encounters with weird people. Allow me to elaborate:

  • Last week I had to take my CPR renewal course. Our class of 15 was divided into groups of 3. I had the chance to join a group positioned on the floor, or a group at a table. I chose the table. Unwisely. I should have taken more careful note of the group members before so hastily joining the token Old Lady and Minimal-English-Speaking Foreigner. Because you have to work in partners during the 2 Man CPR portion, you can just imagine my frustration when our group is always the very last group to finish their practices and test-offs. CPR is really not that hard, (and something I feel every person should be certified in) but you would think these MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS had never heard of CPR before. “Oh, you don’t need to do rescue breathing if they are breathing on their own???” “Where do I feel for a pulse?” Ugh. Moral of the story: don’t be lazy. Get down on the floor and kneel at the mannequin.
  • My friend Nikki got me tickets to see a premier of Dear John before it was released on Friday. (It was good!) In the entire theater, I of course get stuck to the crazy old lady wearing oxygen and who laughs extremely loud. Who also has to get up to use the restroom during the movie. But not before reaching down for her purse and grabbing and groping my leg before she realized that it is, in fact, not her purse. She then gets up and falls on me, oxygen tubes flying everywhere. She comes back, falls on me again, and says—not whispers—“Getting old is a bitch!” Classy, lady.
  • Saturday night at The Cheesecake Factory a high school age couple was seated next to us. If you’ve ever been to The CCF, you know how ridiculously close the tables are to each other. I don’t know if it’s a reflection on the current generation, of if they were fighting, or what, but they did not say ONE WORD to each other the entire time. She sat in her chair, arms folded, looking off into the distance, while he texted and played on his phone the entire time. At one point she pulled out her phone as well. They continued to sit there silently, eat a few bites, and then he returned to his phone. And then he started playing solitaire. Seriously?? You’re that bored you have to play solitaire while out on a date?? It was sooo weird. Who are these people?? I tried really hard not to stare, but it was fascinating in a way.

Sometimes I think there must be something about myself that attracts these weirdos. What gives?



Emmy said...

Well at least the last set of weirdos were quiet and entertaining. So yes, was it a fight or a blind date gone really bad?? Oh I so wish you would have been super nosy and asked, but wait then you would be one of those weirdos :)

Yours, Mine, &, Crazy Daisy said...

I think the teenage couple were actually brother and sister, stuck there while mom and dad were out at the bar!

:p Patty

Lara said...

Hello! You give off Mormon Vibes. I can't explain it, either!

Maria said...

Hey, I am the worst friend ever. Happy Belated B-day. I loved your guest blogger. Summer will be the cutest big sister. I can't wait to see you in a month!!!

wackywilsons said...

You are so funny....I hope I don't end up like the couple at CCF and never talk to my date!

I loved catching back up on your blog...your world is always so funny!

Anonymous said...

It's because you are a MILF... you should be proud!!