Monday, March 14, 2011

A cry for help

No, I’m not talking about Rick Astley.

I’m talking about Summer and potty training.

Now, I know there are some of you out there (and you know who you are) who did not share in my joy that Summer was potty training relatively easily. Well congratulations, naysayers, you win. She is practically UNtrained now. And it is infuriating.

She does not tell me that she needs to pee anymore. I put her on the potty every 30 minutes and she will go, but not on her own. When I ask her if she needs to go, the answer is always “no” and when I suggest she go sit on the potty, she tells me “all done potty!” and runs away. And even if I put her on the potty every half hour, there are times when she will have peed her pants in that half hour.

And just today, I was talking to her face to face, and I asked her if she needed to go, and she said no. So I checked to see if she was dry, and she was. And then she tooted. And then she looked at me. And then I checked her underpants and she peed!! Right in front of me! What gives???

Maybe the few days she got it was just a fluke. Maybe she’s bored with it? Maybe M&M’s aren’t a good enough reward?

I hate to give up and put her back in diapers. I would feel like a huge failure. I would feel like we would be making negative progress. But so help me, I’m sick of changing wet AND poopy undies all day long. I mean heck, we only have 6 pairs and I have to wash all 6 at the end of the day.

So, mothers (and fathers) please help me. What should I do. Seriously, what should I do? Someone please tell me.

Ok, so maybe I am talking about Rick now. Love me some Rick Astley.


DeAnn said...

I wish I knew what to tell you. I'm having the same problem with Isaac right now. I'm not sure whether to give up and let it go for awhile or keep at it.

I will tell you--Megan and Karen were like this. I did a training session where I was determined to be done with diapers. But then gave up and went back to diapers. But both of them within a few months asked to go back to underwear (but they were well over 3) and then they were 100%.

Good luck. I loathe potty training and have sworn off having any more kids in part b/c I can't handle training another child!

heidi678 said...

Everyone I've talked to says wait. Granted I have never potty trained a child yet, so I'm taking their advice. Connor will be 3 in Aug, so we are waiting probably 3 more months at least even though he shows almost all signs of being ready because I want to avoid the regression. I read "Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day" by Terri Crane and we are going to have a potty party like she suggests and have him train a doll first. I think he will thrive with that! Check it out, don't know Summer that well, but it might help for her.

Lara said...

She's not ready. One of my sons did the same thing. We "thought" he was potty trained, but then he decided he wasn't, and he wet the bed, his underwear, everywhere. We put him back in diapers, and six months later, he was potty trained for good.

You know her best. If she welcomes diapers, then you need to let her wear them again. She will let you know when she's ready. But if she wants to wear "big girl panties" you can let her wear pullups. If she has accidents in them, you can whisk them off and give her a wipedown and a fresh pair. Emilie was four before she was truly ready. I know it's not fun, but I honestly think pushing kids into potty training before they're ready means lots of accidents. (Not that you're pushing, but she clearly is in the "toying with the idea" phase, and she decided maybe it wasn't for her, yet.)
She also sees you changing Hannah's diapers, and she might be jealous of that contact you have with her. I know it's a drag, trust me, I had three kids in diapers at one time!

You know her best. She'll let you know when she's ready. But definitely give her the option! :-)

Ruth said...

I agree with most of the other comments. The exact thing you are going through happened to me with Lizzie. I started potty training Lizzie about the same age as Summer with M&M's, etc. She did fine for a little bit then wanting nothing to do with it. I finally gave up since Nathan was almost due. After that we tried off and on with charts, even doing the "potty training in one day" with the doll. But in the end she had to decide when she wanted to be ready. It was about 3 1/2 that she was mostly potty-trained. I was so exhausted from over a year of potty-training that I decided to not even deal with the night-time until she was 4. (She would have soaking wet pullups every morning). By then I was ready to deal with all the wet sheets, but amazingly she transitioned perfectly and gets up to go potty all on her own.
I seriously felt like I spent too much of a year and half stressing over her being potty-trained. I will be waiting until I completely know Nathan is ready before I start with him.
Honestly I think Lizzie got stressed out by the whole process too. My advice is wait- little kids don't need that stress if they aren't ready. They have to decide they really want to do it. I seriously felt like Lizzie was going to want to wear diapers/ pullups forever but there is an end eventually.

Lee Anne said...

Practice again in the summer when she can hang out wearing nothing (less laundry!) It's not a failure for her because if you wait a few months she won't remember clearly about the first attempt to potty train. I have three girls and when each was ready, it was like a switch going off in their heads and they wanted to get it for more than just a few days. Don't worry, you've got a smart little girl there and she will want to be a big girl soon and like the feel of the underwear over the squishy diaper. I promise, you will not have to cram-potty train her the week before she starts kindergarten! :)

Silvs said...

Potty training advice blah blah blah. I totally forgot about this song and I love it. Thanks. That dude sings like a black man, and I love him for it.

Lindsey said...

I am not potty training expert but I have received A TON of advice from sister in laws and sisters. They have all told me to wait until I know for sure that Carly is ready. Like she doesn't want to wear diapers anymore etc. I'm not even going to start worrying about it until she's 3. I've heard that potty training your first kid is the toughest because they don't see any other kids in the family using the potty all the time. I would say don't worry about it for a while so you don't spend a year trying to train her!

Sarah said...

Karen, I'm so sorry! Even though diapers are more expensive, it is much easier to deal with and less of a mess to clean. Potty training stinks but it is so much easier when the kids are old enough to figure it out on their own.... at least that was the case for us. If it causing too much stress and work for you, I would just bag it until you feel like she is more ready. If it gives you any hope, I waited to potty train Jackson once he turned 3 and he still wasn't ready. I gave up and stopped for a bit and once he was 3 1/2 he just decided for himself to do it and it was so much easier than the first time around!

Kaylynn said...

I'm sorry it's so frustrating! But, I have to ask, why the rush? She's sooo young! Once you go to undies (for real) you can never go back...and then you're that mom in target who has to take her kid to the bathroom 3 times in 1 hour...I don't have experience obviously but I'd vote diapers!

Yours, Mine, &, Crazy Daisy said...

Really late adding a comment here, but count me in as saying, just wait. Both of my girls were aver 3 when they were potty took until she was almost 4 without accidents. They are all different. Anyway, wanted to mention that I've heard that training is harder now then years ago because diapers are so absorbent now that the kids don't feel "wet" so diapers are more comfortable to them then undies. I think you did the right thing in putting it off for now. I think is it amazing that a 2 years old was able to have some success at all! Good job!


Cynthia said...

Yeah, just chalk it up to a practice run and go for it later. Jordan was 3 and a half when he was ready,and it was so easy with him. I thought Carter would be easier... Nope! I had problems with Carter until he was nearly five! I would catch him hiding in a corner and holding his bum. I don't know what the deal was, and I was worried it would never end, but it did. I've also heard what Patty mentioned. So I considered going with cloth diapers for this new baby, but after researching it I decided I'd rather just deal with it all.

lanni said...

this happened with max too. when we potty-trained him LAST APRIL he was a pro. then a few weeks later he changed his mind. he would pee in the potty fine -- unless he was busy or just didn't want to of course -- but for some reason he would not poop in the potty {although he had consistently been doing it}.

like, it was to the point where he was holding it in, crying all the time b/c his tummy hurt and his bum hurt and it made him so so naughty and he was freaking out all the time. it was hard for him to play, to sleep to do anything.

like, i would sit him on the potty, he would scream and cry and insist he didn't need to go and so i would let him get off... and then we would go straight to his room, hide behind his chair and poop his pants.

the problems got way worse and i'll spare you all the graphic details {but imagine how fun it would be to give an enema to a 2 yr old b/c they hadn't pooped for a week} and i think it's safe to say that it was unpleasant for everyone.

we tried to put him back in diapers, but he wasn't having hit b/c he wanted superhero undies... after a few months, he agreed to go back to diapers. we put him back in diapers and he told us for months and months that he would use the potty when he turned 3.

he turned 3 in january and has used the potty every single day since. no drama, no accidents, just easy.

moral of this long story -- spare yourself {and her} the stress and go back to diapers. when she's ready, it won't be a fight, she'll just go.

and you'll sing hallelujah.