Wednesday, May 23, 2007


So....what do you think? Like the new digs? Thanks to Antony for helping me out!

Ok, ok, so Jordin won. I knew she would. Still, Blake is awesome, and you cannot tell me that his little duet with Doug E. Fresh was not the pimpest thing you have ever seen. It was awesome. He'll get a sweet deal no matter what.

So, I have been feeling sluggish and gross, so I decided to get back to the gym. I weighed myself before I ran and could not believe my eyes. I have gained 5 pounds. In a week! I told you all we did was eat in Texas!!! I seriously need to detox. Only eat lettuce and water for the next month. Ugh. Derrick is still sickly. He can't really eat anything of substance. I made chicken noodle soup for him Monday night and it's all he can handle. He's not throwing up. It's the other end that's the problem. TMI, I'm sure. If it doesn't ease up tomorrow I think I'll make him go in. Nothing more fun than than pooping in a plastic cup!

Did I leave you hanging about my $164 ticket? Last Friday I was on my way to meet Derrick at Noodles (YUM!) around 5:00 pm. The on ramp to US 45 S was backed up like crazy, so I made a U Turn at the light and hopped on going south where there was no line. I actually followed a guy who did the exact same thing I did. Well, a cop pulls out behind me, and when my lane light changed to green, he turned on his lights and pulled me over. Our conversation went a little something like this:

Officer: Do you have any idea why I pulled you over?
Me: Absolutely no idea. (I lied, I knew it was the U-Turn. My friend Whitney got a ticket doing this exact same thing a few months ago.)
Officer: Do you remember what you just did back there?
Me: Uh....made a U-Turn?
Officer: Yep. That's illegal.
Me: But there was no sign.
Officer: There doesn't have to be a sign. U-Turns at controlled intersections are illegal.
Me: Well that's retarded. (Ok, I didn't really say that, but I wanted to.) I didn't know that. I just moved here.

He then asks for my license, which I realize is still in my jeans from when I went out to Leff's the night before. Yikes. He asks if my address is current and I say yes and he walks off. I then realize I have a Utah license, but thought he was asking about my registration. He comes back and...

Officer: Says here you don't have a license. How come you never got a license??
Me: I have a Utah license.

He leaves again, and is gone for awhile. In my rearview I watch him pull out forms and hope to Buddha that he's just going to give me a warning.

Officer: Here's a ticket for $164.30 (30 cents?? WTF?) Your court date is June 5th. 3 points on your license. (3 points???? For making a U-Turn? Bastards.)
Me: Really, I didn't know. (Me, going to hell.) I haven't lived here that long, and I've lived in 15 other states and it's never been illegal in any of them.
Officer: Well, you need to learn the laws. Go online and read them. (At this point I should have told him to kiss my ass, I don't have internet.)
Me: The guy in front of my did the exact same thing!
Officer: Ma'am, it's unsafe to make a U-Turn in a controlled intersection.
Me: Whatever.
Officer: You need to get a Wisconsin driver's license. Drive safely.
Me: Suck it. (Ok, again, not really, but I wanted to)

By this point I'm on the phone with Derrick and crying my eyes out that I got this stupid ticket. So lame. I mean really, how is that logical? Unsafe in a CONTROLLED intersection? Don't you think it would be more safe than in an UNcontrolled intersection? I know I really don't have much of a case here, but still. $164 is steep for a U-Turn. And 3 points? Please. Now I have to go to traffic court and hope the judge takes my points off and just lets me pay the fine.

Fast Forward to last Wednesday. I go to the DMV to finally get this damn Wisconsin license I've been bugged so much about. I get all the papers I need, print out a copy of my energy bill, find my birth certificate, all that crap. I wait at the DMV with psychopaths for an HOUR. I finally get called, and they tell me my print out can't be accepted. I argue with the lady for awhile about how it's my bill, all my bills are online, I don't get any paper bills, and this is a legit bill. She says I have to take it up with her supervisor. Bring it on.

Me: This is my energy bill.
Supervisor: We can't take printouts.
Me: Why not?
Supervisor: Because.
Me: Well, I get all of my bills online. This is my bill. That's my name. That's my address. That's how much I owe We-Energies. THIS IS MY BILL.
Supervisor: Hands me a piece of paper listing what is acceptable. It says "Utility bill: gas, water, electric, land-line telephone"
Me: This is my gas AND electric bill. THIS IS MY ENERGY BILL!!!
Supervisor: We can't take printouts.
Me: Show me where it says on this paper YOU JUST GAVE ME that you can't take printouts.
Supervisor: We can't list every rule on there.
Me: Well then you can't enforce it! It's not stated anywhere! Look, here's my bill, give me my license, and let's get out of here. Make it happen, you can do it.
Supervisor: Go ahead, make it happen. Get out of here.
Me: F*** you. (OK FINE! I didn't really say that. At least I don't think I did. But you better belive I was thinking it in my head.)

I grabbed all my stuff and stormed out. I hate the DMV. I'm going to try again tomorrow. I heard you can use your lease, so I'll take that, and some other mail I scrapped up. I WILL stab someone in the throat with a pen on a chain if I don't get my license tomorrow.


ARL said...

I like the fish layout. Did you find it online? that's quite the fine for a u-turn. just have Derrick get your library books. i wouldn't pay that fine.

jasongard said...

And I thought my wife was expensive...geesh.

josiejean said...

what is a controlled intersection?

ARL said...

one with lights.